Ugh................

It's just pure hell lately; we're still on vacation and my son is starting to act out from the stress. He's crying a lot at seemingly nothing, he's hitting some children in this new school, and he's yelling more like his father. This morning was the usual terror: Derek heard the pitter-patter of scampering feet and yes, there's no running aloud in the house, but in spite of my corrections, he stormed out of the bedroom spanking and screaming, and it didn't stop the entire time. As I put on Dillon's shoes for him, Derek bent over us yelling at Dillon as he cowered and covered his face, afraid of more attacks. I moved as fast as I could to get us out of there as Derek shouted impossible questions at Dillon like, "Why did you run in the house? Why? Answer!!" Three year-olds don't know "why" they did something like that, they were just caught in the moment. Dillon tries to appease him, "Yes Daddy!" he cries, but that's not good enough for Derek: "Yes Daddy?? Yes Daddy what?! What does that mean?!" Then he went into Dillon's room and unplugged the tv, shouting, "No tv for you until I say, do you hear me!!!" I wish I could describe how terrifying he is. Derek is not just an angry parent taking the tv away. He is a very intimidating, big, loud, and VERY angry man, who uses his power over us to break us and scare us. I can see through this tactic, but at three you can't, and it's truly horrifying. Lately if Derek just corrects Dillon at all he starts crying because he's so afraid of him, and that's starts Derek into his bullying and picking fights with our poor little boy. It's just awful.

Of course this tirade included me and how it's all my fault. As soon as we got down the stairs and into the garage to go to school, Dillon let out a whimper and started crying. I could tell it was just a huge release what he had just gone through and then being told he had to keep it in and stop crying or he would "get it." Dillon has learned, even at his tender age, to suck in the crying, but it's not healthy. So as soon as he thought it was safe, he let it out. I came over and gave him a big hug. I want to tell him that it's all over. I want to tell him that this won't happen anymore. But I can't yet. And it's just awful.