Crazy or just clueless??

If you've been following my blog for the last several months, you already know that my two beautiful children and I were living in an abusive situation (see my older posts), in which my husband screamed at us, kicked my son, jerked him around, called me an idiot, moron, and other choice names on a daily basis, and he also, over time, usurped all of my freedom and independence, until I had no bank card, no money, no friends, no freedom to buy anything without his approval, including my own clothes, and I had to be home by 5:30 or I was in big trouble. That's just a quick recap, and is not at all comprehensive, but it gives us all a moment to remember just how charming this guy was (and is). So here we are, a few months after my big escape, breathing a certain sigh of relief that although the battles aren't yet completed, the damaging cancer (him) has been excised from our daily lives, and I'm doing all that I can legally to ensure that it remains that way. To have come this far, surely is worth a toast. HOWEVER -- as I proceed through my own involuntary social experiment in leaving this jerk, I have learned one thing is for sure: these abusive types will try ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to suck you back into their lair and under their control where they think you belong. My own jerk has succeeded in keeping me continually surprised at the schizophrenic and contradictory combination of carrots and sticks that he regularly dangles to try and get a response from me. Mind you, I have had almost no contact with him (ah, so refreshing), as there is an Order of Protection for us in the court, and also because getting into a dialogue would serve no productive purpose whatsoever. Even so, he fairly regularly sends me messages and texts and even gifts in the mail. As to his arsenal of strategies, he seems to be trying out different ones to see what will stick and get a response from me. Here is a sample of some of them: He's sent me flowers three times, each with a note professing his love for me. After 4 1/2 years of not caring about my personal goals, he sent an email quite suddenly asking for information on the Ph.D. program I'm interested in. Then he tried a different approach, and sent a string of emails stating that I could not just ignore him and that if I did, I: wouldn't be able to stay in our house, would spend all of my money on lawyers in court, and would receive a slew of lawsuits and even criminal charges (?!). When that didn't get the response he wanted, he went back to the sweet approach. So in the middle of his emails about how much he still loves me and how we can work it out, I received a lovely package at my door, which was a lawsuit accusing me of abducting the children. (This couldn't be further from the truth, because in reality although I did flee a domestic violence situation, he had taken the passports before I could do that, and it was only after he gave them back to me with full knowledge of the flight we were on and that we were returning to our home that the children and I finally left). At any rate, there it was, this horrible lawsuit. I mention this because I want to fully show the context in which this next little item came. This monster, who just filed this horrible thing against me (luckily there is no merit to it), sent me a message last night stating that he only filed it because I filed for the Order of Protection, and that he would drop it if I accepted one condition. Are you ready for the condition? Are you REALLY ready? Here it comes: I have to agree to what he described as, "one final date with me." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you as gobsmacked as I was???? A date? Is he completely insane? And a "final" date, what's that? It was very creepy, in a, pervert/stalker/serial killer kind of way. I suddenly had visions of me, sitting in a chair all tied up and a gag in my mouth on our "date," as he beams and coos about our undying love and how happy we'll be. It's utterly astonishing how clueless some people can be. He really seems to be so twisted that he has no idea how horrible his behavior is. And there's more: the morning after receiving that creepy note, I found an email from his long-lost, grown up son whom I've never met nor even EVER seen a picture of. Suddenly this son, who just by the way had never met his father until he was 13, was verbally attacking me for having the gaul to leave his "dad." This arrogant and totally clueless person tried for two pages to accuse ME of having done a terrible thing, so much so that he and his lovely fiance' (also whom I've never met nor heard of), were considering post-poning their wedding plans because I've so affected their suddenly close-knit family. Again, I was gobsmacked. Speechless. I sat there for quite some time just staring at his letter, wondering how on earth he could presume to know anything about what life with Derek is like. I'll admit that I felt indignant; I wanted to immediately reply with all the reasons that he was presumptuous and wrong, and defend myself for my actions. But I didn't. In spite of my emotions, I knew that, for whatever motivation he had, I didn't need to justify myself to him, nor would it bring anything to rail against his father just to prove a point. So I let it go. (Well sort of, I'm venting about it here). So that was yesterday. Flowers. Lawsuit. Threats. Creepy date invitation. Letter from long-lost son. Oh and let's not forget that cow on tv who wrote all of those books and made me feel inadequate! Humph. Maybe I should lay off the caffeine for awhile. Until next time, dear, dear friends...