Dear friends you're so right...

You pals of mine "out there" are right on the money when you say that Derek will resort to any tactic to get to me, or get me back, I guess is what it is, even though to me the idea of going back to a life with him is more horrifying than having a bikini wax, a mammogram and a pap smear all at the same time (is that too much information?) Ugh..........but it's true, as INSANE as this sounds -- because it is -- I have to tell you that while this lovely man was filing claims against me alleging child abduction and abuse and many other baseless lies that he can never substantiate, he actually had the big brass ones to send me roses -- twice -- the first one with a card that simply had a date on it: 7-10-05. For five days I racked my brain as to what that date could mean, and then I remembered, of course, we met in a foreign place, we had a holiday, and that was the day of our first kiss. Awwwww.....I'll bet you're just tearing up right now. The second dozen came a week later and had a card that said, "I will always love you." That was last week. This week, I've received two emails. In the first one, he tried a scare tactic: "Listen, Stacey, you can't just ignore me...we can still work this out but now it will be with some conditions...this can get very expensive and I will spend my last dime but I don't know if that's an option for you...in spite of what you think I still love you and always will...blah blah..." You can be assured that I did not respond. In the second email, he didn't write anything, but instead creatively cut and pasted a several years old email that I had written to him about how much I loved him and what a great couple we were, as if to remind me of my own words. Thanks so much. Yes, I said those things -- YEARS AGO -- and guess what? None of it happened! You didn't turn out to be a great team member, you didn't turn out to be my best friend whom I can turn to in good and bad times, you didn't even turn out to be an okay friend who I can just sit in the living room with and watch tv. You turned out to be a controlling, mean, nasty, abusive jerk. So null and void that note, Derek. That's what I could say, want to say, but don't worry, to that, too, I did not respond. Nor will I. It just does my brain in sometimes however that he could be so crazy, I guess is the operative word, to follow through with very serious legal allegations that demand full custody of the children and their immediate return to him, and yet while that's going on, unspoken, he sends flowers and tells me how much he loves me. Is there even a drug out there to combat something like that? He's nuts. Simply put. I hope I never see him again, although that is at this point a just a hope. I saw a picture of him flash across my computer screen yesterday and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I instantly felt a flush of panic to see him looking right at me, even through a photo, as if he can somehow see me and will come to life at any second. Just from one picture, everything in me said, "Panic, he's here!" I can't look at anything he owns or has touched a lot in this house, it sends shivers down my spine. And now he's playing this...GAME. It's creepy, and horrifying, and at the same time just plain stupid and annoying. If that makes any sense. I think all of these abusers are just alike, working from the same script. They all play these games and resort to desperate tactics, and yet none of them come with warning labels: "Please be advised that prolonged exposure to this person can cause damage to your heart, upset brain function, drain your wallet, and crush your self-esteem. Do not attempt to operate machinery, set personal goals or offer your opinion when operating around this individual. Do not leave unattended. Do not use near open flame, as this individual may self-combust. This individual is "as is," and is not transferable or returnable. Do not attempt to leave this individual, or severe financial, physical and mental damage may occur, maybe even death. Enjoy your new relationship." No, they just don't make them with warning labels. If only. But they do come with warning signs for those who care to take them seriously. I sure do now. Until next time, dear friends....