Bridges burned...

In spite of everything I know to be true about Derek being abusive, I also know that when we leave, he will feel absolutely betrayed, deceived and wronged in every way, and it will only serve to confirm for him that no one, women especially, can be trusted. When I think back on the last 4 years, I am reminded of the many relationships in Derek's life that have ended badly, and how many bridges have been burned. With each one, he felt horribly wronged, and viciously blamed the other party, when in truth I could see even then, that the only common denominator to all of it was Derek. At first I mentioned it to him: "You seem to make a lot of enemies in your life," I said, "and having these horrible blows with people should be the rare exception in your life, not the rule." "Life is hard," he countered, "and people can never be trusted. They'll all screw you in the end if you let them. You have to come on strong if you want respect." Of course he couldn't be more wrong. It's sad, really, how far off track he got in his life, but as with all of us, whatever you believe is what happens. And for Derek, everyone is an enemy sooner or later. He pushes people until they're up against a wall and there's no option but to respond in some way, and when they do, he points his finger: "Ah, ha, see! I was right about them! Look at how they act! Look at what they said! I knew it!" or similar. Anyway, here's the list of people, in four short years, that I have personally seen go from friends to bitter enemies (in Derek's world -- many of these people don't feel the same; they're just glad to have him gone): 1. His business partner in Germany; 2. His mother and father; 3. His only sibling, a brother; 4. His best friend and the friend's wife in Germany; 5. Our wedding coordinator; 6. My OB/GYN from my first pregnancy; 7. Our first landlord; 8. His ex-girlfriend and mother of a child with him; 9. A former employer; 10. A former realtor; 11. A former client; 12. A former office landlord; 13. Another former housing landlord; 14. The current landlord (that's a work in progress); 15. His project manager (another work in progress); 16. His banker; 17. Several of my relatives, although to their great credit, they are as cheery as ever toward him; 18. One of my highschool friends; 19. Our current (strike that, as of today our FORMER) housekeeper; 20. Our former next-door neighbor (the police even got involved in that one, as well as in others). That's all I can think of right now. But that's twenty people in just over four years, an average of five relationships gone wrong per year! Now I ask again, WHO is the common denominator here?? Well I think I've illustrated my point. Very soon, I will be added to this esteemed list of mostly all very nice people (at least I thought they were very nice). I will be added to this list of enemies and I guess I should be honored: after all I'm in good company. But still, I don't like making enemies. I don't like being out in the world knowing that someone else is out there wishing me ill. But it's unavoidable. So onward I shall go. Until next time, dear friend...